Number of hours spent traveling: 20 Days spent in Colombia: 29 Cazuela de frijoles comidas: 2 Tres Cordillera cervezas tomadas: 15 Shots of aguardiente shots I turned away: 6 Shots of aguardiente I couldn't turn away: 4 Veces que usé tenso equivocado en español: unknown Ceviches I ate: 6 Days at the beach: 4 Micheladas: 10 Showers taken: 58 Sunblock application: 10 Usos de la palabra chevre: 5 People asked why I was a brown gringa: 4 Times I was offended by this: 0 Times people thought I was Colombian until I spoke: unknown Apologies made on behalf of United States for Donald Trump: 1 Explanation of the El Paso/Juarez border: 5 Uso de la frase, "ese man": 20 Photos taken: 88 Veces que escuchú salsa: infinito Ramen from Formosa restaurant eaten: 3 Max number of hours of speaking only Spanish before mouth and brain hurt: 4 New tattoo: 1 Book read: 1 Books started and left unfinished: 1 Reruns of CSI: Miami watched on AXN: 20 Ubers r...