And then. . .

It was hot. Even with my black Ray Bans on I squinted against the sunlight as I walked to my red Civic. "If I gave you gas money, would you give me ride home?" a voice asked to my right. I turned just noticing a young girl with brown skin and beads of sweat clinging to her top lip. "Where do you live?" I asked. Quick. "Over by the Albertson's on Abbot," she paused. Her mouth stayed open ready to inhale my no. I looked at her, she was only holding a gray binder, and nodded. I pulled my head to left and said, "Come on." She didn't hesitate and her steps fell into rhythm with mine as we walked to the car. "It's so hot, you know? I'm from Vegas, but in the last few weeks I've gone from white to brown." I clicked the car doors open. "Don't mind the mess," I said grabbing wrinkled papers off the passenger seat. "Oh, no worries," she said as she sat down, "I'm from Ve...

The last few weeks have been emotional for me for many reasons. At any moment I find that I feel the burning pressure at the bottom of my lower lids that is accompanied by incessant blinking as I try to wash away the tears hovering just around the curve of my eye. I once believed to be strong one had to swallow their tears. I didn't like to cry, even though tears seem to accompany most of my emotions. I'm sad. I cry. I'm angry. I cry. I'm happy. I cry. Perhaps because I didn't like them they enjoyed springing to the surface so readily. But, in the last two weeks I've cried because I had a realistic bad dream which I couldn't seem to wake myself from. I cried for a friend driving to the gym because I didn't have any words to respond with that could make her feel better. I cried watching a movie because a father died, and I've never known a good father. I cried because I'm scared of what is coming in the next months. And mostly, I've crie...

The beginning of a transcription of a conversation I had with my sister driving around downtown El Paso. Y: Ita never lived this far did she? A: No, she didn’t. Y: I remember parking at that place right here… to go to Juarez [point at parking lot off of South El Paso Street] A: Uh huh… to go to Juarez Y: I haven’t been down here since I don’t even know when, man. [pause] This does look nicer though. [car blinker clicks in the background] A: Yeah, they’re cleaned it up quite a bit. Y: Then when I was a kid.  So, when you would go with grandma would you go—well yeah, it was this bridge, right? A: We’d go through both bridges.  But, most of the time we’d go through this one. Y: Okay. A: Which is uh, PDN. Paso del Norte. Y: Isn’t this the Santa Fe Bridge, though? Or am I…? Oh, I used to park here and cross! A: Mmm hmm. That girl walks funny, like she’s a washing machine [points at pedestrian]. [both laugh loudly] A: Yeah, this is Santa Fe Bridge. It...