The kisses were sticky and tasted like cherry Chap Stick and mint. His lips were wet and the kissing noises sounded loud in her ears, but she kept kissing back, his moist tongue darting in and out of her mouth. In the living room she could hear her friends watching MTV, the volume loud and muffling the giggles she knew were being giggled. She would have to face them after.
She felt the hard pressure of his center being pressed against hers and his hand grabbing her right breast through her Radiohead t-shirt. In Utero was playing in the background, but it sounded distant as if it were also in another room. She kept thinking about anything other than the boy between her legs and his heavy breathing as he pushed against her. She didn’t quite get it, him pushing against her crotch didn’t feel good, but each time he breathed a little heavier and made little noises that sounded foreign to her, so she breathed a little harder too.
Earlier that day she had spoken to him on the phone while she twisted the coiled cord around her finger binding her to him further.
“Yeah, then take a left. My house will be on the corner. No, she won’t be home. She’s working. Yeah she usually works a lot so she’s hardly home. My dad? No, I don’t have one,” she laughed, “No, you don’t have to worry about any dad trying to kill you, he’s not around.”
She looked at the picture on her dresser it was of the family. Her mom and dad sat each side of her on the old brown couch while her seven year old self opened a Christmas present. She was smiling. That had been six years ago.
“Ok, I’ll see you in a bit.”
She snapped back to the moment when she felt his clammy palm against her naked skin, as his hand crept up and underneath her shirt, her bra. He moaned again against her lips, so she moaned back as he pinched her nipple painfully. He shifted his weight and for a second she thought that they were done, but then he simply reached underneath her to unclasp her bra. He fumbled awkwardly until she mumbled, “I’ll do it,” against his lips. As soon as it was unsnapped he rolled her back onto her back and this time grabbed at her more freely. She could feel a warmth beginning between her legs and thought that perhaps this is what he felt. Her fingers had stayed on his hips up until now. She pushed his t-shirt up slightly and felt her fingertips touch his hot skin. When she did he stopped kissing her long enough to leave a moist trail down her neck, skipped down to her stomach, where he pushed her shirt up and over her chest. She felt the coolness of the air conditioned air before his hot mouth clamped down on her nipple and he sucked. The heat between her legs increased and she lifted her pelvis against him. He stopped and sat back on his haunches and looked down at her. She cast her eyes downward. He took off his shirt and she looked back up at him as he tugged at hers.
“You know I love you, right?”
She simply looked at him and nodded. She saw his fingers move toward the button fly on her jeans. She looked back up at him and saw the bulge in his jeans. As he began to slide her jeans off she grabbed his hand and stopped him. He looked up surprised but then simply began to kiss her again. This time he laid on his side next to her, his hand now cradling her face. She closed her eyes and kissed his wet kisses back.
He grabbed her hand and put it down his pants. He was hot and moist there as well. His hand was against her and her jeans were pushed, now crumpled into the base of the twin bed. She felt his fingers probing into her and the heat increased. Before she had time to think she pulled him on top of her again. This time she could feel his nakedness against her stomach and more of the urgency as the only barrier was her cotton bikinis. She needed to feel something, anything. His kisses were rougher more hurried. She kept her hands to her sides until he sat back again. This time she turned her head to the side and closed her eyes as she heard a snap, then felt the heat of his body against hers again.
“Hey, look at me.”
His hand was on her jaw now as he turned her face toward his. She opened her eyes and looked into his sleepy brown ones.
“It’ll be okay.”
He said kissing her again. She felt his other hand between them as he moved her underwear to the side, and the pressure of him pushing against her. He loved her, is what she thought. He was loving her. His face was buried in her neck now, and his breathing was heavy as she arched against him and moaned. He mistook it and pushed quickly into her and she whimpered. His breathing was haggard as he lifted and drove into her quickly.
“You feel so good baby.”
She bit her lip and stayed quiet as he moved. Nirvana was still playing and she turned her face again, saw her dresser, and closed her eyes. Seconds later he made a noise deep in his throat and stopped moving and lay still.
“Are you okay baby? Did it feel good? It’ll feel better the more we do it. Do you love me? Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.”
“I love you baby. I’ll love you forever,” he said kissing her one more time.
He moved to the edge of the bed, and she heard another snap. She laid there for a few seconds before he got up. She felt a dull ache her crotch sticky. She looked down and realized she was naked, embarrassed, she grabbed for her t-shirt, and jeans. As she was getting dressed she saw him go toward her dresser.
“Is this you?” he asked laughing.
She reached for the frame in his hand, but he lifted it so she couldn’t reach.
“Give it,” she said suddenly close to tears.
He laughed again as he lifted the frame one more time.
“You were cute as kid,” he said looking at the picture.
She looked down at it and the photo blurred a little, she blinked, and grabbed it from his hand.
“You saying I’m not cute now?” she asked as she pressed her chapped lips against his.