Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Gays, the Beads, the Bands, and the Hair, Girl, the Hair

My hair is now blue. Bluish in tint. Blue and black. Black and blue I suppose, but there was not a fight involved.

As this transformation was happening my hair guru, yes, hair guru because hair dresser does not suit her, was telling me about her sister. Her sister is shy and introverted, but the one time I met her, I wouldn't have believed it. She had rainbow colored hair at the ends and some bleached blonde spikes that made for a punky little coiffe.

"No way!"

"Yes dude, and she does this weird thing when she talks to people, rubbing her hands on her thighs, I told her to stop doing that shit, because she looks like something is wrong with her!"

I laughed as she imitated what I imagined to be damp palms rubbing against jean clad legs. The hair dryer bulbed around my head and foil tins kept flopping over my right eye. 

As with any trip to see Lisa Hairy (a name I gave her) our mouths run a mile a minute.

"I think it's important to have a choice, you know? I mean I'm Catholic, but I want my son to have an option.Things shouldn't be like this and this, " she gestured her hands making a T palm to palm. 

"That's cool. I went to church every Sunday, raised very Catholic and now? I don't believe in church. God yes, church no. It's more of a trend, following the Jones."

"Exactly! It should be about your personal relationship with God!"

She sprayed warm water against my scalp rinsing the bleach from my black hair. I squinted even though she's never sprayed me in the face. I could see her tattoo covered arms moving as she ran her fingers through my short hair.

"It's hard to deal with people like that, you know? We pretend to be so open minded, but we're not. My sister's gay a lot of my friends are gay, but I don't see them as gay, they're my friends, and some people can go on and on about how it's wrong."

"I know what you mean. My best friends in Dallas are gay, and they're like my family. Jeffery is my heart and I can't imagine how people can be so, so, I don't know. I went on a date with this guy one time it was going well, then he busted out with "gays are an abomination". I was like, what?"


"Yes, dude, yes!"

I sat in the chair as she snipped at the hair on the back of my head. Little bits of dark hair sliding down the orange cape around me, Halloween. She moved like a choreographed dancer, snip snip snip. Her dark a la Amy Winehouse hair moving slightly with her gestures.

"Are you going anything for Mardi Gras? Gonna show you boobies?" her voice going up in pitch as she raised her eyebrows. 

"No dude, I'm too old for that shit!"

"Well at least in El Paso right? You'll run into that person the next day and they're all, 'Hey I saw your boobs yesterday', right?"

We laughed, mouths wide. I think I ate some hair. 

"Unless I'm in New Orleans there is no boob action."

"For sure New Orleans you have too!"

She reached for a pink ball holding Toni & Guy product. Palm to palm she rubbed it together and spread it through my freshly cut hair.

"Are you going to Neon?" she asked

"For sure, did you see Moby is coming?" 

"I didn't know you liked electronic music."

"Yeah, I saw him in Dallas. I had so much fun. I'm excited about Mexican Institute of Sound too."

"Do you think At The Drive In is going to play?"

"I'm not a huge fan, I wasn't here when they were all BIG," I made quotes with my fingers, "I mean they're cool, but I think I missed all the hype, same with Sparta. I don't give a shit about Sparta."

Her eyes got wide, "I hear about At The Drive In all the time, Edgar loves them."

"Yeah..." I trail off. 

"What about Eddie Vedder? Are you going to see him?"

"I think, I might."

"There you go mam, you're done. You can't see the blue right now, but when you're outside it'll look super cool."

She swept little chunks of my black hair off the floor as I grabbed my wallet. We say good-bye and I look at my hair in my rear view mirror. It looks so dark. My hair is this dark? Yes, yes, it is because the back matches perfectly. She didn't touch the back with the dye. My hair is back to black...

Thursday, February 16, 2012


Last night I went to see an old friend spin at Soho, a lounge nestled in downtown El Paso. Three different dj's worked their magic and although I might be biased, I knew that Sam Groove would be my favorite. Before he went on, a girl was doing her thing, bass heavy, reminiscent of club days at Vertigo's in Juarez, MX, which to its own token still had my feet moving, the slow ease of Sam's set is more my style.

Last night in a nutshell:

and blue lights flashing across dimmed lights

Bass beats sprinkled lightly across strummed guitar strings

seducing, lulling, until we bob in unison

dancing, twisting, sinuously

to the beat

the beat

the beat

the beat that seduces our feet

To Listen Click Below:

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


     almost done. almost done. almost done. 

protein shake
     it's not that bad

phone call
    "What are you doing? Wanna go to breakfast?"

    "If you were to create a bouquet made of flowers you picked from the side of the road, it is possible that you might find bees, ants, and other six-legged creatures among your creation. For some people, the beauty of the flowers would far outweigh the risk of stowaway insects. You have a choice to to make now, Aries. You can choose something beautiful that may come with a few small inconveniences, or you can do without. The stars are now encouraging you to find the beauty and overlook the rest.

     "I need to buy some cute stockings for my "freak em" dress. and suggestions on where? Dillards?

grocery story
     doesn't anybody work? where did all these fuckin people come from?

    "Smashed potatoes for tonite or what do you think? What time are we meeting?"

    "I wanted love. I needed love, most of allllll...."
     please don't speak to me


    which one is softer? will i finally get some un-medicated sleep?

    "lol. :) they're relaxing, enjoying walmart. :)"

    cool breeze and sunshine against my hand

put away groceries
     hurry hurry hungry hungry


tax preparation
     paper and more paper

    when i clean i have no thoughts it keeps my mind still. when i clean i have no thoughts it keeps my          mind still.

   "Your recent ponderings, even though i'm not skilled at healthy relationships, i think you're making a rookie mistake in the "i have feelings" context.

UTEP blackboard
      reading Tio Fish
      okay a girls on a ledge married to a gay Indian guy, and then?
      why does there always have to be tension can't a story just be a moment? just a moment...

  "Do you happen to have any limes? I have everything but"

  "fyi i'm coming in my very comfi clothes. o sea, all floja"

phone call
    "What are you doing?"

6 o'clock
     dinner prep commences 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Short Short "Coral Hearts"

A boy once gave me a coral heart. After a vacation he came back and I sat listening to him talk about where he had gone, who he had seen, as he unpacked. I sat on the edge of his bed, smoothing the sheet that wrinkled around my body, as he placed neatly folded shirts into crooked wooden drawers. When he paused mid -sentence and said, “I brought you something,” I stared up surprised, a warm feeling beginning to spread in my chest.
He placed a small heart shaped coral into my hand, “It’s from the beach.”  
I stared at the heart lying in the center of my moist palm, a tiny pockmarked heart. I wasn’t sure what to say, what the heart meant as it sat in the center of my hand, my fingers unmoving. I looked up to say thank-you, but he had already gone back to unpacking.
“Thank-you, it’s very nice.”
“Thank-you,” and I held my hand out.
“Oh, sure. Of course.”
He kept talking. About the weather, a new song he liked, something, I stopped listening to as I stared at the heart shaped coral laying in the center of my palm. When I got home a friend looked at the heart and said, “What more do you want? He gave you a stupid heart!” I’m not sure what more I wanted either. I stared at the heart, held in the palm of my hand and imagined that the heart held the words he hadn’t said.