Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Gardenia's

I walked slowly down each aisle. The many petals open, worshiping the sun, danced in the light breeze that came off the mountains. Outside in the open air of the nursery I breathed in the mingled scents that emanated from all the greenery around me. Rows of passion red, dusky lavender, and blush pink flowers looked up at me as if saying, "Take me home! Take me home!"

I lingered a moment in front of the morning glory's and smiled. The memory of summer mornings on my grandma's porch came to mind. The air smelled like the coming heat, musky, with a hint of freshness as the morning glory's and coral vine that covered the outside of her house opened, and were able to breathe a breath of fresh air, like the rest of us, before the heavy heat set in.

"Mira," my grandma would say, "te estan diciendo buenos dias."

I didn't know then that after a morning glory blooms it dies. Looking down at them I remembered those mornings before school, my grandma, and her house.

I looked up around searching for the green plant I had come for. I moved on to the shrubs and looked for the leaves I'd recognize. Mid-aisle below the hanging baskets of red peonies I saw it; the gardenia's. I looked at them carefully, thinking, "Which one Ita?" I touched the flimsy black plastic holders waiting for something to say, "This one," when my hand landed on one that was medium sized, but with one long branch pointing in my direction. It was not blooming yet, but I knew that it soon would. The buds were still tightly clinging to its tiny white center. Carefully I placed it in the cart. It was going home.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Spell

i woke. i didn't know why, but grew conscious  in the change of my breathing, a change that had not yet occurred in the blurry figure next to me. i blinked, listened to the even sound of his breath, in and out, in and out, a light snore punctuating the end of each exhale. i didn't want to move. if i moved the moment would be over. what this moment was I wasn't sure, but i drank in the details. the curling hair on the nape of his neck, the small brown mole on his ear, the texture of his skin, taunt. his back moved with each inhale naked against me. my arm twitched, wanting to move, but i breathed in deeply and refrained. my breath louder to me now that it moved at a quicker pace, echoing in the brightly sunlit room. even in my stillness something was noted by him though, and he began to shift. don' turn, not just yet. i wound my arm around him, my hand against the warmth of his stomach, his back pressed against my breasts. he pulled at my hand with his, we were looped, my arm stiffened, hesitant, then relaxed. breathe

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dallas Part I

tomorrow i will be in dallas. my second home, to see my second family.

i want to

hug jeffrey
hug michael
have them drop something so i can pick it up since i'm closer
have margs, and margs, and margs
shop at nordstrom
on the border with mariah
laugh hysterically with mariah
sushi zushi
enjoy the gayborhood on easter sunday/my bday
sit by the pool saturday afternoon
drive around see the city
breathe in the humidity
sit on a patio
enjoy pappaduex
sing karaeke at bab's
walk around bishop arts with my boys
eat taco bell with jeffrey on the couch and watch bad tv
hang out in my old stomping grounds
be annoyed that amy is not there
sing a country song
and....
enjoy my family there as much as possible