Monday, August 26, 2013

The Things About Friends

The things about friends is that, well, it's complicated.

Family can drive you crazy, but you can't get rid of them. You can say mean, low, evil things, (as can they) and usually, they'll forgive you, at least after while. When it comes down to it, at least in my case, you fight and love with a passion, because as the saying goes, blood is thicker than water.

With friends, there doesn't seem to be the same weight, I suppose. Because you can get rid of them, you can say mean, low, evil things, and they don't have to forgive you (or you them), and friends break apart, grow, and drift away like icebergs from one another. Although friends are the family you get to pick, sometimes it's best to let them go (or them you), because as in a romantic relationship, in order for it to work you both have to make an effort.

I'm blessed with having many great friends in my life, the kind who drink away heartbreaks with you and let you cry till there's no more tears, the kind who bring you soup when you're sick and camp out watching bad T.V. with you for the day, the kind who you share your childhood with and after layers and layers upon years you come together as if distance, work, kids, life has not passed, and the kind that come later and  you build a fast and furious bond over experiences likes trips, moves, and school.

I've also had the painful sting of friendships that have morphed and shifted into something unknown and uncomfortable, the kind where you have trouble meeting their eyes, because after all the time spent together they're not the person you hoped they were, the kind that you care for so much, you don't realize they are sucking you dry of love and energy until you lay wasted and drained,  the kind that leave you without a word, confused and wondering what it was that went wrong and are followed up with awkward "Hello's", the kind that make comments like, "I was with close friends," which leave you confused as the words slap you across the face, leaving a red mark, because you thought you were close friends, and the kind that look at you with envy tinted eyes and taint the love, relationships, and successes you've accomplished, souring them like old milk.

We've all had these friends, they're complicated because relationships are complicated, and like our-- boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives--I suppose we just have to go through them until we find the right ones. Past the break-ups and complications, there is the comfort in knowing you have people, if only a handful, outside your family, who love you, for all your faults and quirks, in a way close to the thickness of blood.

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