This weekend someone said to me, "Don't turn yourself into a pretzel for someone." When I stared back confused they elaborated, "Sometimes when we meet people, we turn ourselves into what they want us to be, usually unintentionally, but we do, and by the time we realize it, it's too late. So, remember don't turn yourself into a pretzel for someone, anyone."
This is an interesting idea for me because, how does one keep from losing themselves in anyone? The best example is a relationship, of course, but sometimes we lose ourselves in friendships, in workships, in any ships especially when they first set sail.
Where do commonalities begin, and where do they morph into what we believe that individual wants/needs?
How many times have we all feigned interest in what someone else is saying, when in all actuality we are simply waiting for our turn to speak?
The worst I suppose is when you're in too deep and you realize you're already that pretzel. When further elaborated on, a moment flashed in my mind of a time in the past year where I had been indeed pretzel-fied. How do you go back, unbend yourself slowly,trying not to break anything, trying to find the road back to where you were yourself and not a version of yourself. A version which in most instances, you don't really like.
I suppose there is a fine line between, balance, meeting people half way, and oneself. The portion of ourselves that we often kick to the curb, is the voice in our heads, that sets off alarms and ties our stomachs into knots in an attempt to tell us that something is, in fact, not right. But do we listen? No, we don't, I don't. I get caught up in the ship and forget to abandon long after I should have.
It's important to be reminded of the basics, before we've bent ourselves so far that even when what once felt fabulous now brings more trouble than it's worth.
The ship has sailed.